We are in outer space. Ryan is outside of the car taking pictures. I am sitting in the passenger seat. I see the beautiful scenery of planets and lights and such and I get out. I go over and look at Ryan's pictures, leaning close to give him ideas. I tell him how I like the lighting of one, the contrast of another or which ones to keep, redo or delete. His head is leaning over mine, then I turn around and I pick up a strawberry [I have no idea where I got it] Ryan is taking pictures again. I take a slow, delicious bite. Ryan looks over at me with a completely different look on his face, a different desire. I am surprised...The Taylor Swift song starts playing..."...see that I'm the one who understands you...see ee ee, you belong with me ee ee, you belong with me."
~dream skip~ I hear about the magic of the wardrobe and travel through to Narnia. Once there I hear shouts of an army. I'm with a small group of people. We have to get to Tomnas's house. We rush and over the hill an army of Orcs from lord of the rings pour out. We get in the house and I hide between a chair and the wall, not a very good hiding spot. They are coming.
~dream skip~ I am at a pokemon convention. There is all things pokemon, people dressed up, shows etc. I am wondering if they are playing the first movie anywhere when a guy comes up to me [he is some famous actor but I have no idea who] and tells me that he can prove Santa clause is real. I follow him and out this door is Santa.
~dream skip~ I am laying on top of the heads of the raindeer as they are flying. I just hope I don't fall off.
~dream skip~ I am at church with Joleen. The back of the pew we are sitting at is reclined. We are at some funeral, like of the Pope or something. My bishop is there he had rushed to get ready and comes in 10 min late but we haven't started yet. I am laying reclined in the seat, almost like it was a bed. Ryan puts his hand around me massage my side. Then I sit up abruptly and ask Joleen who the speaker is. Joleen likes the speaker. The seat is no longer reclined, I cuddle...~wake up~
Showing posts with label Scattered Dreams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Scattered Dreams. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Black at the Wedding
swimming sites? I dive into the water and the boys follow only my brothers.
~dream skip~ I put on cinnamon roll chapstick only for me kiss first random guy not wearing a wedding ring.
~dream skip~ A girl is going to marry a prince for his money and what not. Witch finds out and tries to expose her. [she is the same witch from "to kill a witch" under the category "store"] The girl is singing a love song with the prince as they are preparing for the wedding. He is singing how he "loves...her...soooo..." and she is singing other things about being with him and lying through her teeth on the love part. Then she is alone looking in a mirror, music is still playing in the background. She is in her wedding dress. The witch is talking to her then leaves mirror to other room and talks to the prince and passes everything on with out lying, cause she can't. She is trying to break up the prince and the girl but mostly to break the princes heart and cause hurt and problems. She gets the girl to say things she likes about the prince and she says that he will be a good king someday. Witch laughs. "That's what I've been waiting to hear." The witch is going to tell the prince that the only reason that the girl is marrying him is that she believes he will be the next king. The girl yells "wait!" Then the girl staring in the mirror becomes me. The veil is back over hair, not a flattering Gorgeous look anymore, just plain. "Because I love...Him...Sooooo" I sing. The witch cries out in anger.
~dream skip~ Paint everything black. Black accent for wedding. Got permission to paint the wheels of toy truck. My head is too heavy from all the wigs and stuff decorating. I am not allowed to take anything off and I am very frustrated.
~dream skip~ Dad is putting down Marco and says something about drinking, "he doesn't drink" I defend. Dad opens mouth I talk over him "doesn't drink or smoke." I pause, then hastily add "or do drugs. He has his own things but that's personal. You shouldn't judge people."
~dream skip~ I start painting the edges of shelves black. Mom yells out "Is everyone ready?" I say yes and she is standing at the door staring at me as I keep on painting. She stares longer. I'm still painting up and down when she sighs and opens the door. I drop the brush and get in the car. It's a limo inside and everyone's there. The kids are in the back and the older in the front but then grandma appears in the back next to me. "Everyone buckled..." I am buckling ~wake up~
~dream skip~ I put on cinnamon roll chapstick only for me kiss first random guy not wearing a wedding ring.
~dream skip~ A girl is going to marry a prince for his money and what not. Witch finds out and tries to expose her. [she is the same witch from "to kill a witch" under the category "store"] The girl is singing a love song with the prince as they are preparing for the wedding. He is singing how he "loves...her...soooo..." and she is singing other things about being with him and lying through her teeth on the love part. Then she is alone looking in a mirror, music is still playing in the background. She is in her wedding dress. The witch is talking to her then leaves mirror to other room and talks to the prince and passes everything on with out lying, cause she can't. She is trying to break up the prince and the girl but mostly to break the princes heart and cause hurt and problems. She gets the girl to say things she likes about the prince and she says that he will be a good king someday. Witch laughs. "That's what I've been waiting to hear." The witch is going to tell the prince that the only reason that the girl is marrying him is that she believes he will be the next king. The girl yells "wait!" Then the girl staring in the mirror becomes me. The veil is back over hair, not a flattering Gorgeous look anymore, just plain. "Because I love...Him...Sooooo" I sing. The witch cries out in anger.
~dream skip~ Paint everything black. Black accent for wedding. Got permission to paint the wheels of toy truck. My head is too heavy from all the wigs and stuff decorating. I am not allowed to take anything off and I am very frustrated.
~dream skip~ Dad is putting down Marco and says something about drinking, "he doesn't drink" I defend. Dad opens mouth I talk over him "doesn't drink or smoke." I pause, then hastily add "or do drugs. He has his own things but that's personal. You shouldn't judge people."
~dream skip~ I start painting the edges of shelves black. Mom yells out "Is everyone ready?" I say yes and she is standing at the door staring at me as I keep on painting. She stares longer. I'm still painting up and down when she sighs and opens the door. I drop the brush and get in the car. It's a limo inside and everyone's there. The kids are in the back and the older in the front but then grandma appears in the back next to me. "Everyone buckled..." I am buckling ~wake up~
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Cursed and Running for my Life
I am in this car with a friend. He is buying a new car but it is cursed. I am sitting in the passenger seat when I see a tiny spider. I back up and cry out to him "there's a spider" Then another one appears and another. Then a whole mass of little spiders crawls out of the inside handle of the door. I am trapped. I open the door and leap out. Then I pull off my shirt and pants while standing on the sidewalk. I shake them a bunch of times to knock off all of the spiders. I shake myself and my hair. The spiders are off of me but about 8 or 10 spiders cling to my clothes. I run in the house and grab my can of spider killer. I spray them, but they still do not leave my clothing. They are after me and I don't know why, [I think it was a curse that was ment for someone else and I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.]
~dream skip~ I am a prisoner with this woman and this man. We are trying to escape and this fat lady is trying to stop us. [She had a name in the dream but I can't remember) We run and climb and end up at the top of this area. Very far down is the ocean. It seems to be about 4 stories down. The woman is afraid. I hop over the rail and dive. There is a small wall holing in some of the water near the ship area and I have to dive past that. I am a few feet from the wall on the ocean side. As soon as I slip into the water I turn myself around and start kicking my legs and place my arms at my side thinking 'rocket ship. zoom back up like a rocket ship' My lungs were burning and I wanted to breath, even underwater I was about to take a breath when I burst above the surface. The woman and man come up next to me. We all made it. The fat lady cries out and leaps. "Oh ____" We start swimming. When she hits the water a tsumami of water washes over us and pushes us far to the other side of the docking bay. [I don't know what else to call it but a docking bay. It was a large, dome like room with lots of different little boats and one bigger boat, like a battleship or something. But there were no piers to dock on. It was all deep water with the docking areas surrounded by walls on all sides but one where the ships could enter and ancher.] Past small boats and around walls. We swim and climb over a small wall on the other side and run and then jump into the water and swim again. There is a large open area where the ocean water comes in [It looks like the open bay from starwars on planet Hoth] We swim to that when we come up to a small, kyack type boat that has a sail. We climb in and I offer to pay the person who owns the boat when I recognize his face. He smiles and turns the boat, he's going to help us. We get out to sea.
I am in an appartment room with Sabyr and a few others. We are hanging out. [Sabyr is back from Utah or visiting from Utah, I couldn't quite tell.] He had gained a lot of weight and looked almost like Bert.] We are lounging on couches, talking when Sabyr changes clothes right in front of us, I partly look away to give him privacy. We are still chatting and all of a sudden I start singing the "Little Einstines" song. My dad is there singing too. As he sings I turn my head and we are in my house. I sit on the couch. Mom and Dad are in easy chairs and we fall asleep with the TV on. We have a couple of maids cleaning the house, a man and a woman. They turn off the TV before leaving. When mom wakes up she gets super upset about the maid turning off the TV that she is talking about firing them. They leave and I am alone in the living room. I hear breathing. I look on the couch but no one is there. I kneel down at one side of the couch and the sound is closer. I follow the cushins to the other side listening. Then there is a small bundle under a sheet in the far corner. That wasn't there before. I debate whether I should move the sheet, I am hoping it is Joshua, but he's not that small. ~wake up~
[Wow I havn't dreamed about that person in a long time. And especially not just having a casual conversation with others around almost like old times. I have no idea where the spider curse came from but I do know there was more to the dream.
When I recorded it I was still half asleep and all I wrote was "Attacked by Spider" and it was in bairly legable writting, it took me a long time to decipher the words. Usually I write more down but the only other thing I wrote down was "escape fat lady"
The escaping part was much like the old dreams I used to have when I was a teenager and younger.
I would have liked to remember more about the spider thing because there was something about the curse, and a way to fight the curse. It would have added to a great story.]
~dream skip~ I am a prisoner with this woman and this man. We are trying to escape and this fat lady is trying to stop us. [She had a name in the dream but I can't remember) We run and climb and end up at the top of this area. Very far down is the ocean. It seems to be about 4 stories down. The woman is afraid. I hop over the rail and dive. There is a small wall holing in some of the water near the ship area and I have to dive past that. I am a few feet from the wall on the ocean side. As soon as I slip into the water I turn myself around and start kicking my legs and place my arms at my side thinking 'rocket ship. zoom back up like a rocket ship' My lungs were burning and I wanted to breath, even underwater I was about to take a breath when I burst above the surface. The woman and man come up next to me. We all made it. The fat lady cries out and leaps. "Oh ____" We start swimming. When she hits the water a tsumami of water washes over us and pushes us far to the other side of the docking bay. [I don't know what else to call it but a docking bay. It was a large, dome like room with lots of different little boats and one bigger boat, like a battleship or something. But there were no piers to dock on. It was all deep water with the docking areas surrounded by walls on all sides but one where the ships could enter and ancher.] Past small boats and around walls. We swim and climb over a small wall on the other side and run and then jump into the water and swim again. There is a large open area where the ocean water comes in [It looks like the open bay from starwars on planet Hoth] We swim to that when we come up to a small, kyack type boat that has a sail. We climb in and I offer to pay the person who owns the boat when I recognize his face. He smiles and turns the boat, he's going to help us. We get out to sea.
I am in an appartment room with Sabyr and a few others. We are hanging out. [Sabyr is back from Utah or visiting from Utah, I couldn't quite tell.] He had gained a lot of weight and looked almost like Bert.] We are lounging on couches, talking when Sabyr changes clothes right in front of us, I partly look away to give him privacy. We are still chatting and all of a sudden I start singing the "Little Einstines" song. My dad is there singing too. As he sings I turn my head and we are in my house. I sit on the couch. Mom and Dad are in easy chairs and we fall asleep with the TV on. We have a couple of maids cleaning the house, a man and a woman. They turn off the TV before leaving. When mom wakes up she gets super upset about the maid turning off the TV that she is talking about firing them. They leave and I am alone in the living room. I hear breathing. I look on the couch but no one is there. I kneel down at one side of the couch and the sound is closer. I follow the cushins to the other side listening. Then there is a small bundle under a sheet in the far corner. That wasn't there before. I debate whether I should move the sheet, I am hoping it is Joshua, but he's not that small. ~wake up~
[Wow I havn't dreamed about that person in a long time. And especially not just having a casual conversation with others around almost like old times. I have no idea where the spider curse came from but I do know there was more to the dream.
When I recorded it I was still half asleep and all I wrote was "Attacked by Spider" and it was in bairly legable writting, it took me a long time to decipher the words. Usually I write more down but the only other thing I wrote down was "escape fat lady"
The escaping part was much like the old dreams I used to have when I was a teenager and younger.
I would have liked to remember more about the spider thing because there was something about the curse, and a way to fight the curse. It would have added to a great story.]
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
No one truely wants me
I am talking with my boss [don't know what my job is but somehow in the dream I know he is my boss], we are in a public bathroom for some reason. I am in short shorts and a nice top. I am waiting to see if he wants me, I was tired of making the moves and didn't want to be easy or desperate, could a guy really be attracted to me so much he would do anything to make me fall in love with him? As he leaves I realize that he doesn't want me. I am a little sad, when I hear a noise. Carefully I peek under the stalls to see if there is a pair of shoes. There is a naked guy, he had been looking up my shorts, they were short but not tight. There is a nasty leer on his face. I leave.
~dream skip~ Boss is yelling mad. I hadn't told him about the creepy guy but he had found out anyways.
~dream skip~ I am in a car with someone who is driving. We are looking for a place to park and can't find anything. We see a parking garage that says "lot full" but there is a strange feeling. We decide to check it out.
~dream skip~ We are walking around the bottom floor and there are no open spaces. We go to the top, roof, and there are tons of open spaces. It had been blocked off and abandoned. There were people sitting in some of the cars. At closer look we noticed they were dead. These cars were abandoned during the time of the "plague"
~Dream skip~ I am in this house, hiding from some guards. They are coming up to the house and the husband and wife get me under the floor boards. The guards barge in and search the place, nothing. Then one says "we haven't checked under the floor" I crawl to the edge, there is an opening to outside. Half my body is out but I stupidly want to watch. The guards look around and see nothing and then one turns his head and sees me, looking straight into my eyes. He yells out and I take off. I am running like crazy. Jumping fences, going through bushes, trying to be as hard to follow as possible. I end up across a street and as I run and try to hide or jump fences dogs are barking. There is no where to go, but to run.
~dream skip~ I see a garbage can, the chariot with the guards is getting close. I hide behind the garbage can and this guy sees me do it. He is staring at my hiding place saying, "What are you doing back there." over and over, getting louder. The guards come up and see me. I get out and they use these iron metal type hand cuffs (like from olden days for under the castle prison type cuffs.) I secretly notice that my wrists are too small and I could slip out. I stand in the back of the chariot and they are taking me away. We travel through this forest type place and I take off running, slipping out of the cuffs. I climb up a tree after circling around a bit all over. I hear dogs. I hide as far back in the leaves as possible so that I couldn't see anything myself, if I could see them there was a chance that they would see me. The dogs are all around sniffing and the guards are yelling, cursing and searching. I look at the cuffs still in my hand thinking I should have left them for the guards to find, to confuse them more, but then they would figure out that I could slip out of the cuffs, I would need a way to open them first. ~wake up~
~dream skip~ Boss is yelling mad. I hadn't told him about the creepy guy but he had found out anyways.
~dream skip~ I am in a car with someone who is driving. We are looking for a place to park and can't find anything. We see a parking garage that says "lot full" but there is a strange feeling. We decide to check it out.
~dream skip~ We are walking around the bottom floor and there are no open spaces. We go to the top, roof, and there are tons of open spaces. It had been blocked off and abandoned. There were people sitting in some of the cars. At closer look we noticed they were dead. These cars were abandoned during the time of the "plague"
~Dream skip~ I am in this house, hiding from some guards. They are coming up to the house and the husband and wife get me under the floor boards. The guards barge in and search the place, nothing. Then one says "we haven't checked under the floor" I crawl to the edge, there is an opening to outside. Half my body is out but I stupidly want to watch. The guards look around and see nothing and then one turns his head and sees me, looking straight into my eyes. He yells out and I take off. I am running like crazy. Jumping fences, going through bushes, trying to be as hard to follow as possible. I end up across a street and as I run and try to hide or jump fences dogs are barking. There is no where to go, but to run.
~dream skip~ I see a garbage can, the chariot with the guards is getting close. I hide behind the garbage can and this guy sees me do it. He is staring at my hiding place saying, "What are you doing back there." over and over, getting louder. The guards come up and see me. I get out and they use these iron metal type hand cuffs (like from olden days for under the castle prison type cuffs.) I secretly notice that my wrists are too small and I could slip out. I stand in the back of the chariot and they are taking me away. We travel through this forest type place and I take off running, slipping out of the cuffs. I climb up a tree after circling around a bit all over. I hear dogs. I hide as far back in the leaves as possible so that I couldn't see anything myself, if I could see them there was a chance that they would see me. The dogs are all around sniffing and the guards are yelling, cursing and searching. I look at the cuffs still in my hand thinking I should have left them for the guards to find, to confuse them more, but then they would figure out that I could slip out of the cuffs, I would need a way to open them first. ~wake up~
Friday, July 17, 2009
McDonald's, torture and the meaning
I just came from McDonald's drive through, only I don't have a car and after I made my order I realized this. I took off because I knew they didn't serve people outside of cars at the drive-thru. As I left through the bushes there was a gang of guys that were picking up their orders from the window, they weren't in a car...
~dream skip~ I want to go back to McDonald's, I need a McChicken sandwich or my head will burst. I am in this mall type place and the McDonald's is on the top floor. I go up some stairs. Then I am too high, then I am too low, I'm running around seeing stores on either side but never at the McDonald's. Then I see it in front of me...
~dream skip~ I am on a large flat roof, or out in the middle of nowhere on flat land. The wind is blowing like crazy and there is this rope that falls, hanging in front of me. I look up and there is this large dirigible in the air. I feel a sense of dread.
~dream skip~ This girl is tied, chained and unclothed. She is to be tortured mercilessly and parts of her skin are to be cut out. She no longer has any tears left to cry and awaits the new pain and terror, it will never end. I see her and then I realize that she is me. ~wake up~
[scattered, random and almost forgotten. I wasn't even going to post this one but then remembered that as far as I know, nobody follows this blog, it's too random and out there and nonsensical. Which works for me because this is the real me that hides behind the mask of reality. It's important to fit in, otherwise the world will destroy you and you will be left alone. I know that feeling, I have been destroyed and I have been alone. It is better to be alone and fake it, to suffer the inner tortures of the mind and be considered crazy than to be alone completely. These are thoughts that went through my head after I woke up. I wonder if it's in connection to the end of the dream with the girl being resigned to her tortuous fate. Death would have been a blessing and a relief, but death isn't that kind.]
~dream skip~ I want to go back to McDonald's, I need a McChicken sandwich or my head will burst. I am in this mall type place and the McDonald's is on the top floor. I go up some stairs. Then I am too high, then I am too low, I'm running around seeing stores on either side but never at the McDonald's. Then I see it in front of me...
~dream skip~ I am on a large flat roof, or out in the middle of nowhere on flat land. The wind is blowing like crazy and there is this rope that falls, hanging in front of me. I look up and there is this large dirigible in the air. I feel a sense of dread.
~dream skip~ This girl is tied, chained and unclothed. She is to be tortured mercilessly and parts of her skin are to be cut out. She no longer has any tears left to cry and awaits the new pain and terror, it will never end. I see her and then I realize that she is me. ~wake up~
[scattered, random and almost forgotten. I wasn't even going to post this one but then remembered that as far as I know, nobody follows this blog, it's too random and out there and nonsensical. Which works for me because this is the real me that hides behind the mask of reality. It's important to fit in, otherwise the world will destroy you and you will be left alone. I know that feeling, I have been destroyed and I have been alone. It is better to be alone and fake it, to suffer the inner tortures of the mind and be considered crazy than to be alone completely. These are thoughts that went through my head after I woke up. I wonder if it's in connection to the end of the dream with the girl being resigned to her tortuous fate. Death would have been a blessing and a relief, but death isn't that kind.]
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Looks like the Church is True
I am Rainbow Brite but plain, without any color as if the color had been sucked out of me. Color is leaving everything. There is a frightening being that is responsible for this. i make a rainbow across this chasm (like the grand canyon) and ride Starlight across as fast as I can to leap to the other side. I had expected the rainbow to lose color at any time and wanted to be across. When I look back I see the rainbow still in full color. As I stand there and stare, the color is gradually removed, turning it a variety of shade of gray, starting from the other side of the Chasm...and then it crumbles into nothingness. The gray is coming close to me and I have to get away. I want to fight but all I can think to do is run.
~dream skip~ I am in the SUV but when I hit the brakes the car only slows down. I can't get it to stop. I am at a red light and do not wish to go into the intersection. I keep my foot on the brake to go at a really slow pace and then turn the wheel so that I am going in circles instead of crossing over the crosswalk into the intersection. There is another car that comes up behind me and sees what I am doing. The creep closer so that I would possibly hit them.
~dream skip~ Directing kids through this house, only it's like a maze. I don't know where I am going so they have to navigate. I get more lost. This little girl finally takes charge, the boy was just taking us all in circles. Then we are at the front door. She goes outside to wait for her mom. I wait by the door watching her out the window. The boy says that their previous caretaker just sent the girl outside and then went back to the main room. I would never do that, I stay there.
~dream skip~ I am at church sitting on the small couch out of the meeting hall, near the glass doors. Marco is sitting there. Some guy is sitting next to him trying to force him to take a calling by leaving a guilt trip. Marco begins arguing and they both argue, getting in each others faces. I keep putting my hand between them, I am ignored. I tap the guy on the shoulder, grab his arm, push his chest and still he ignores me. Finally the guy turns to me and I get down on him for trying to guilt someone into a calling. I use things like "Is that what Christ would do?" and "Is that the kind of service you want, something that is forced?" Then the guy takes me aside to whisper and ask me questions that are non of his business [but for some reason I don't think about that in the dream. Too naive and honest.] "Does Marco pray?" I whisper "Yes" "Does he read his scriptures?" I whisper "I don't know but I believe he does and sometimes he reads with me."
Then I go back to Marco who is half laughing silently with his eyes and a smile on his face. When I get up to him he says "We will be late for class" I bend down to pick up all of my stuff and when I stand up, Marco is gone. I walk up and down the halls looking in each of the classes, searching but not finding him. (gospel doctrine, essentials and I don't know what the other classes in the dream were ) None of the class doors are closed and all of them, it's as if the back wall is missing so I'm just there in the back searching heads. I don't see him anywhere so I go back to the couch.
The sacrament is being passed. There are like 30 people passing the bread to all of the classrooms and everyone in the hall and such. I am surprised that I take a piece of bread out of habit. I realize what I have done, but can't take it back. There is a little boy watching me, like 5yrs old. So Instead I pretend to eat it and leave it in my hand. Then I try to figure out how I can pretend to take the water. After thinking for a bit, I realize it is not a good idea to pretend, to make things look good on the outside. So I decide to go into the bathroom to wait.
I'm in the waiting room I begin writing. I write a few beautifully worded pages for my story. It is a masterpiece in the making.
~dream skip~ I am playing a book on CD [I think I am still in the bathroom waiting room that is more like a living room]. After a while the book hits a passage that sounds familiar. I look down and it is word for word what I have written. I am mortified. Did I copyright with out even knowing it? How is that possible for an entire chapter? It sounded so good and now I wouldn't be able to use it.
Then the CD starts talking to me. It says my name and starts talking about Christ. I am awe struck and believe. I look at the CD and realize that the copyright and the message are on track 6 and 7. I try to write down what the CD is saying to me but all of my pens seem to be out of ink. I keep trying and they are not working. I pull out a red pen but it bleeds blood over the page, ruining the words it is writing. I use a highlighter but it smears to the point of eliminating the letters completely. I use a pencil and it is working but it breaks and I hold the lead in my hand still trying to write.
~dream skip~ I am in the main hall of the church. Everyone is still in classes and doesn't know or notice, a war breaks out. I need to check my phone to find out where Marco is and show him my discovery / writing. I am in the back and walk to the hall, jumping over a trench, bomb blown hole. On the other side this man looks at me sneering...
[Well I prayed that the Lord would be with me in my dreams to help me figure things out. I prayed to know the truth and that it would be made manifest in my dream, if it is the Lord's will. That would mean that Christ is the Savior and that the Christian religion is true. Which would mean the Mormon religion wouldn't it? I guess I better read the Book of Mormon again. What an interesting, confusing, enlightening and frightening dream. To be concluded in HD journal.]
~dream skip~ I am in the SUV but when I hit the brakes the car only slows down. I can't get it to stop. I am at a red light and do not wish to go into the intersection. I keep my foot on the brake to go at a really slow pace and then turn the wheel so that I am going in circles instead of crossing over the crosswalk into the intersection. There is another car that comes up behind me and sees what I am doing. The creep closer so that I would possibly hit them.
~dream skip~ Directing kids through this house, only it's like a maze. I don't know where I am going so they have to navigate. I get more lost. This little girl finally takes charge, the boy was just taking us all in circles. Then we are at the front door. She goes outside to wait for her mom. I wait by the door watching her out the window. The boy says that their previous caretaker just sent the girl outside and then went back to the main room. I would never do that, I stay there.
~dream skip~ I am at church sitting on the small couch out of the meeting hall, near the glass doors. Marco is sitting there. Some guy is sitting next to him trying to force him to take a calling by leaving a guilt trip. Marco begins arguing and they both argue, getting in each others faces. I keep putting my hand between them, I am ignored. I tap the guy on the shoulder, grab his arm, push his chest and still he ignores me. Finally the guy turns to me and I get down on him for trying to guilt someone into a calling. I use things like "Is that what Christ would do?" and "Is that the kind of service you want, something that is forced?" Then the guy takes me aside to whisper and ask me questions that are non of his business [but for some reason I don't think about that in the dream. Too naive and honest.] "Does Marco pray?" I whisper "Yes" "Does he read his scriptures?" I whisper "I don't know but I believe he does and sometimes he reads with me."
Then I go back to Marco who is half laughing silently with his eyes and a smile on his face. When I get up to him he says "We will be late for class" I bend down to pick up all of my stuff and when I stand up, Marco is gone. I walk up and down the halls looking in each of the classes, searching but not finding him. (gospel doctrine, essentials and I don't know what the other classes in the dream were ) None of the class doors are closed and all of them, it's as if the back wall is missing so I'm just there in the back searching heads. I don't see him anywhere so I go back to the couch.
The sacrament is being passed. There are like 30 people passing the bread to all of the classrooms and everyone in the hall and such. I am surprised that I take a piece of bread out of habit. I realize what I have done, but can't take it back. There is a little boy watching me, like 5yrs old. So Instead I pretend to eat it and leave it in my hand. Then I try to figure out how I can pretend to take the water. After thinking for a bit, I realize it is not a good idea to pretend, to make things look good on the outside. So I decide to go into the bathroom to wait.
I'm in the waiting room I begin writing. I write a few beautifully worded pages for my story. It is a masterpiece in the making.
~dream skip~ I am playing a book on CD [I think I am still in the bathroom waiting room that is more like a living room]. After a while the book hits a passage that sounds familiar. I look down and it is word for word what I have written. I am mortified. Did I copyright with out even knowing it? How is that possible for an entire chapter? It sounded so good and now I wouldn't be able to use it.
Then the CD starts talking to me. It says my name and starts talking about Christ. I am awe struck and believe. I look at the CD and realize that the copyright and the message are on track 6 and 7. I try to write down what the CD is saying to me but all of my pens seem to be out of ink. I keep trying and they are not working. I pull out a red pen but it bleeds blood over the page, ruining the words it is writing. I use a highlighter but it smears to the point of eliminating the letters completely. I use a pencil and it is working but it breaks and I hold the lead in my hand still trying to write.
~dream skip~ I am in the main hall of the church. Everyone is still in classes and doesn't know or notice, a war breaks out. I need to check my phone to find out where Marco is and show him my discovery / writing. I am in the back and walk to the hall, jumping over a trench, bomb blown hole. On the other side this man looks at me sneering...
[Well I prayed that the Lord would be with me in my dreams to help me figure things out. I prayed to know the truth and that it would be made manifest in my dream, if it is the Lord's will. That would mean that Christ is the Savior and that the Christian religion is true. Which would mean the Mormon religion wouldn't it? I guess I better read the Book of Mormon again. What an interesting, confusing, enlightening and frightening dream. To be concluded in HD journal.]
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
singles, marriage and a secret
There is a Singles party that I am trying to avoid. William gives me a ride home and then I get a text that the party is at Neal's house. I go to my room to take out my trash when Derek comes in.
I had heard him asking my mom if he could talk to me because he knows that I've been down lately. I have the trash bag in my hand filling it with the trash. There is still trash on the floor and I want to just clean it up, even though Derek is standing there looking at me.
"Hey" He says quietly.
"Hey" I reply in the same quiet voice.
Derek then smiles a small smile and I return the same smile...
~dream skip~ My memory is going fast. My mom asks me what I was doing and I look down acting guilty, like I was doing something I shouldn't. I then look up at her, not quite meeting her eyes, "I was talking about medical..." She looks like she doesn't believe me but I really couldn't even remember what I had been doing seconds before.
~dream skip~ I am having a heart to heart with Derek.
~Dream skip~ I am on a boat, this pomeranian dog hates me. There is this guy there. Something happens and I am skilled in helping out with the danger or natural disater or whatever bad thing happened.
Then I married this guy and afterwords I find out that he is Batman. There is another married couple living in the same house. The guy from the couple is sharing a room with me, we have seperate beds on opposite sides of a medium small size room. He is drop dead gorgeous. I am sitting on my bed as he climbs in to sleep, I smile, "You're lucky. I had just changed those sheets so it is clean." He smiles as he leans against the pillows in a half sitting position, watching me...
The girl from the couple has her own room and my husband has the master bedroom all to himself.
~dream skip~ I leave the room and the pommeranian dog rushes up. Now the dog loves me and we wrestle and play. I pick up the dog and ruffle the fur...
~wake up~
[wow another random scattered dream.]
I had heard him asking my mom if he could talk to me because he knows that I've been down lately. I have the trash bag in my hand filling it with the trash. There is still trash on the floor and I want to just clean it up, even though Derek is standing there looking at me.
"Hey" He says quietly.
"Hey" I reply in the same quiet voice.
Derek then smiles a small smile and I return the same smile...
~dream skip~ My memory is going fast. My mom asks me what I was doing and I look down acting guilty, like I was doing something I shouldn't. I then look up at her, not quite meeting her eyes, "I was talking about medical..." She looks like she doesn't believe me but I really couldn't even remember what I had been doing seconds before.
~dream skip~ I am having a heart to heart with Derek.
~Dream skip~ I am on a boat, this pomeranian dog hates me. There is this guy there. Something happens and I am skilled in helping out with the danger or natural disater or whatever bad thing happened.
Then I married this guy and afterwords I find out that he is Batman. There is another married couple living in the same house. The guy from the couple is sharing a room with me, we have seperate beds on opposite sides of a medium small size room. He is drop dead gorgeous. I am sitting on my bed as he climbs in to sleep, I smile, "You're lucky. I had just changed those sheets so it is clean." He smiles as he leans against the pillows in a half sitting position, watching me...
The girl from the couple has her own room and my husband has the master bedroom all to himself.
~dream skip~ I leave the room and the pommeranian dog rushes up. Now the dog loves me and we wrestle and play. I pick up the dog and ruffle the fur...
~wake up~
[wow another random scattered dream.]
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Break-ups are in the air
Everyone in the dream is in some kind of a stagnant relationship. One side or the other is preparing to break up.
Neal is moving and I promised to help him. On the day I go and get the U-Haul truck. I am running really late it's already 10:30am and I have to get to class. I decide I want to use clear plastic adhesive cut out in letters to spell Christmas. While doing this I have help from my bro (don't know which one). I call Neal and find out that he is not leaving, I ask...
~dream skip~ This guy wants to marry this girl, we all know her answer and are sad for him because he is going to propose in public.
This girl is pulled aside by an adult and talked to in private where she shares a secret...her "friends" eavesdrop and she comes out and sees them. She asks them not to tell anyone. Two agree and are good friends. The problem is this blond girl with braces who laughs and then goes out to tell everyone. Then I become the girl and my insides hurt and I curl up in a squatting position ready to cry...
~dream skip~ The one I love is not in love with me. I know this, but I don't want to leave. He is happy the way things are. I don't care that he doesn't love me or that we wont be together forever. Today is all that matters.
~wake up~
[Not much side comentary on this other than what the ____? So much skipping around and love drama. I knew I shouldn't have enjoyed watching those romantic comedies yesterday. This is what happens...lol.]
Neal is moving and I promised to help him. On the day I go and get the U-Haul truck. I am running really late it's already 10:30am and I have to get to class. I decide I want to use clear plastic adhesive cut out in letters to spell Christmas. While doing this I have help from my bro (don't know which one). I call Neal and find out that he is not leaving, I ask...
~dream skip~ This guy wants to marry this girl, we all know her answer and are sad for him because he is going to propose in public.
This girl is pulled aside by an adult and talked to in private where she shares a secret...her "friends" eavesdrop and she comes out and sees them. She asks them not to tell anyone. Two agree and are good friends. The problem is this blond girl with braces who laughs and then goes out to tell everyone. Then I become the girl and my insides hurt and I curl up in a squatting position ready to cry...
~dream skip~ The one I love is not in love with me. I know this, but I don't want to leave. He is happy the way things are. I don't care that he doesn't love me or that we wont be together forever. Today is all that matters.
~wake up~
[Not much side comentary on this other than what the ____? So much skipping around and love drama. I knew I shouldn't have enjoyed watching those romantic comedies yesterday. This is what happens...lol.]
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