Reason for my scattered dreams

This is a safe place to think things through without all my crazy friends freaking out and sending mass messages or comments or such about how worried they are about my soul and well being and happiness etc.

My dreams have been so scattered lately, with out a real direction or purpose. I'm used to having some type of a storyline.

Maybe it's because I feel like a liar and a hypocrite. I'm being a different person around different people. I don't want people to find what I think and how I really feel. It's hard when worried about what others are feeling or thinking. Sometimes I wonder what to do. To come completely truthful to my church friends? To stop seeing my non-church friends? To go where I really want to? There are so many questions and none of them help me to move forward. I guess running away to Mexico still sounds like a great fix all. But who said I was going to take the easy way out, no matter how tempting.

I guess the only reason I don't feel like a complete liar is because I am very careful about how I word things. It's all about the semantics, but one day I will have to be honest. I don't look forward to that day and so I will live for today and worry about that later, if ever.

I have to figure this out myself. Where do I want to go, how far do I want to go, what is my dream/future, where does my heart/spirit lie, will I fulfill my desire?

Break-ups are in the air

Everyone in the dream is in some kind of a stagnant relationship. One side or the other is preparing to break up.

Neal is moving and I promised to help him. On the day I go and get the U-Haul truck. I am running really late it's already 10:30am and I have to get to class. I decide I want to use clear plastic adhesive cut out in letters to spell Christmas. While doing this I have help from my bro (don't know which one). I call Neal and find out that he is not leaving, I ask...

~dream skip~ This guy wants to marry this girl, we all know her answer and are sad for him because he is going to propose in public.

This girl is pulled aside by an adult and talked to in private where she shares a secret...her "friends" eavesdrop and she comes out and sees them. She asks them not to tell anyone. Two agree and are good friends. The problem is this blond girl with braces who laughs and then goes out to tell everyone. Then I become the girl and my insides hurt and I curl up in a squatting position ready to cry...

~dream skip~ The one I love is not in love with me. I know this, but I don't want to leave. He is happy the way things are. I don't care that he doesn't love me or that we wont be together forever. Today is all that matters.

~wake up~

[Not much side comentary on this other than what the ____? So much skipping around and love drama. I knew I shouldn't have enjoyed watching those romantic comedies yesterday. This is what happens...lol.]

Friend of a raptor?

I am surrounded by vampires but none of them are looking to bite me. The leader controls them and turns to me to say something....

~dream skip~ I am watching a horror flick but it's like I'm actually there, kinda like 3D only better. Two guys are in the water and something is in there with them. I scream for them to get out, but, of course, they can't hear me. One is a man about in his early 40's and the other is a youth about age 18.

"Something touched my leg" The man states, looking around in the water, carefully.
The youth shakes his head, "Is this another training stunt? You trying to scare me and see how well I stay under control?"

The man smiles and begins to respond when a different look crosses his face. He sensed something that couldn't be seen and shouts, "Get out of the water, Now!"

They both swim to the edge and get out just as a dinosaur leaps out of the water. All i see is vague images, claws, teeth, a tail and staring reptilian eyes. They run and hide behind a rock. Now in full view the creature stands at the edge of the water, a raptor. It sniffs the air, cocks it's head and smiles. "I know where you are and I will have you." It leaps on top of the rock, they scramble quietly to the other side as the creature jumps down to where they were seconds before.

"Ah, so it's a chase is it. I love the hunt." Then the creature uses it's senses to follow the two guys. They barely evade each time. The raptor gets closer with each attempt as the humans begin to tire. Then, as they are hiding behind the same rock, the raptor jumps on top of the rock but then jumps backwards to the spot it came from. The two guys had crawled to that side in anticipation of the raptors movements, they had misjudged. The raptor watches them, cocking it's head from side to side.

~Dream skip~ Somehow the two guys had escaped that scene and were again hiding from the raptor. I am now in the scene talking to the raptor. "If you leave some food out as a trap, you would be sure to catch them. It has been days and their bodies need sustenance."

The raptor nods it's head and we collect a few things. A slice of cooked steak, oh it smelled soooo good, but I had a mission. Also a banana and an orange. These were laid out with a string attached and then we left.

As we lay out the traps the raptor cries out, "I forgot the small cages." The raptor is talking about small birdcage type cages that the people would be cramped, stuffed inside.

"What about those two cages over there." I point at two larger, cube cages.

"Those cages are for Jedi only."

"What's to say that these two are not Jedi? They evaded us for so long...and if we are wrong? They will be put in different cages but they will still be captured. We claim ignorance and will not be punished. They do act like Jedi, other than not having lightsaber weapons."

~Dream Skip~ The guys are each in one of the cube cages. The raptor takes the first cage and I am pushing the second one. We leave the area following a small hidden path that leads to a metal mesh gate. Opening the gate we head down a more man made path towards some buildings.

The raptor passes a group of kids that are hitting the cage with lightsabers. Then they are gone. The raptor is faster than I am. I am pushing the cage and come across the same kids. A young boy cries out, "They don't look like Jedi!" I smile, but say nothing.

The 18 year old is the one in my cage and shouts, "Not yet! I'm a Padawan!" I smile to myself, if that was true then the other would definitely be a Jedi. What luck.

The kids are hitting the cage with plastic lightsabers.

I don't know where I am going, apparently I am only pretending to be a member of this organization, for what reason I do not know. I have people direct me along the way until I end up going through the back of a Safeway and through some large bay doors out in the back. Then I am inside. "I'm actually inside." I exclaim under my breath. I had never thought I would get this far. It was frightening and exhilarating at the same time.

Following orders and directions I end up in the room where the "Jedi" was being held. I push the cage next to the other one. They are talking to me as I am standing there and I'm trying to ignore. I can't afford to get caught now and if I show empathy I would be found out. The raptor comes in...

~Wake up~

[Wish I could remember more....I remember there was a fight of some kind and a fire. I'd like to know what happens next and what happens to me.

Am I a fighter? Am I just there for information? Am I a spy with secret abilities? Am I magical? Am I human? Am I a member of a greater organization that is not evil? Am I there to free a friend who was captured?

There are so many possibilities, all I know is that I was successful in infiltrating the facility, but I don't know if my mission, what ever that may be, was successful.]

To kill a witch

I am zooming in on a game shop store. I see clothing as well as gaming stuff. I am looking for Matt but do not see him. I then zoom in on the back room, opening the door. It is a cluster of video arcades, roll playing figurines, games and end-tables. Then I am just a ghost figure observing as two people enter the room.

Little Goku (from Dragonball) is a prisoner so to speak. He walks in and stands near the entrance way. This man, about 6'4" is standing over him, towering. "You will have 30 seconds to survive. If you survive I will reward you with your life."

There is a small girl all in black floating in the upper left hand corner of this large back room. She has a webbed shawl covering her head and tying back her hair.

Goku takes one step near the end-table in the center of the room. A bar with a metal paddle on the end, shoots out nearly hitting him on the head. Goku backs up, nervous. He walks by the other side of the end-table and another metal arm shoots out, only this one has spikes on the end and all around. Goku bairly dodges that one. He then smiles and runs through the entire place, playing a couple of the arcades to get a feel for the place. All of this he does in 30 seconds, stoping just short of the end-table.

The man is surprised and pleased at the same time. Then it is no longer Goku that is standing there but it is me. I look up at the man and ask him, "What will I get if I kill the witch?"

The man looks at me and then looks at the witch floating in the corner. He then looks back at me with an evil look in his eyes. "you can have anything in the store that you can carry."

I fight the witch and defeat her. The witch had possessed the body of a beautiful maiden and the way that I killed the witch ended up freeing her from the spell. The man looks scared.

I see the lego castle and part of it is broken. I want to fix it but only end up making it worse.

I then run out into the store to find Matt. I shout out, "Matt, Matt, guess what! I defeated a witch and now get whatever I want...." I look around but Matt is nowhere to be seen. Then I see him and run up to him, "Matt!" He turns around and it's his friend Jim.

~Dream Skip~ I am living in Sacramento and receive a facebook message from Marco. He says, "I have the possibility of transfering out there. I can't believe you decided to live in Sacramento but I will come too. I want to spend more time with you, even if it's only for now.

~wake up~

[wow, living in sacramento. Isn't that more of a nighmare than a dream?]

am I human?

I am at this convention type place only there are a lot of random people around. There is one guy who looks like he is walking on stilts, come to find out he is part Giant. From this I get the impression that this is no normal grouping of people. Everyone has some type of magical blood in them. I wonder how I was able to sneak in, seeing how I am fully human, but no one seems to notice. I get a call from Joleen and I tell her where I am. I am with Lila and she is unable to reach the dress she wants. She doesn't want to ask for help, it is a frilly barbie type dress. There is a cabinet in the corner with a typewritter in it. I head towards the typewriter when I remember about Joleen's phone call. I race out, now I am alone. I get to the parking garage.

~dream skip~ I pass Joleen who is with a small group, there are about 3 or 4 people there. I drive past and go to park.

~dream skip~ I am in line with the group. Even though I'm getting back in, I have to be with Joleen and all so that they would be able to get inside.

~dream skip~ I am now with Marco alone at a house. We are sitting on a couch talking.

~wake up~

[This is not the true end of the dream....to be continued in one of my stories]

The Facility

I am in this school type facility. It is not a choice but a forced thing. It is almost like a prison because all of us are to stay in the facility and the outside doors are locked. There is this little girl, sweetest little thing, probably about 7years old or so, and she is talking about her dad. She loves her dad very much but he is in jail for being a murderer.

~Dream Skip~ It's like a camera shot that zooms in on a prison and down the hall, through the locker rooms, stopping at this older man in a chair, (probably about 60yrs old maybe a bit younger but no less than 50) He is talking about how he was a good person but then someone kept making this sound, Ehhhhhhhhhy (it sounds like a guttural A), he snapped. Now anytime he hears that sound he wants to go out and kill and he can not stop himself.

~Dream skip~ Over the loud speaker comes the sound, Ehhhhhhhhhy, I look around and the little girl is gone. Then through the window to the outside I see her walking away with a maniacal look on her face.

~Dream skip~ I am with this guy, he is a bit younger maybe about my brothers age, and he is needing to sand board across this area to get to a building. I am in charge only there are no remotes or keyboards or anything like you would find in a video game. I am not really there though, more like a presence. I follow him and direct him around rocks, so that he stays on the sand. It is a continuous ride and on accident I end up taking the more complicated road when we reached a fork. It took us up over this mountainous terrain where there was very little sand. He had great skill or I had great navigation, either way he even boarded on a small thin piece of sand with his back to the mountain rocks with only enough sand for half of his board. The other half of the board was hanging in mid air over a huge drop.

We made it to the end and it was all sand. He stopped at the end which was a huge stretch of sand that dropped off to the sand below. The building was down there. We looked at each other and I smiled, "jump". He leapt with the board attached to his feet and landed right in front of the building. The building was the same facility I had been locked up in.

~Dream skip~ I was at my own place, lots of bad memories behind me. There was a package in the mail, I thought it would be the stuff I had left behind at "The Facility", but it turns out to be stuff that I had junked or mailed back to them. I threw it across the room, frustrated, angry and hurt.

~Dream Skip~ I am with a group of people at a class. It is a religious class but I am exhausted and sleep through most of it. I keep trying to open my eyes but they close again.

~wake up~

Protect the invention and save the kids.

I am caught in some kind of time warp. I was in this group of people that was creating some kind of revolutionary invention. Other neighboring groups want to steal not only the idea but how we did it and take the whole thing. We have it sectioned off into pieces and that's when I got caught in the time warp. (i don't remember what happened in the warp but when I got back I knew that the bully would come with his side kick to come and bully us out of the invention and then destroy it.) I return from the time warp and run up the stairs to the roof of a building. It is raining outside. Everyone is huddled together trying to decided who will take what sections. I run in and they cry out "there you are. We've been so worried. How could you abandon the project?" I look at them, glancing over my shoulder. "That's not important, what's important is protecting our invention." I draw boxes on a piece of paper with columns. Each row symbolizes one of the group and each column symbolizes a time of day. We create X's on who is going to take what watch. I was on the first watch. Everyone left and the bully came to steal. The piece of project I had was a small wrapped up tube. I slipped it into my backpack and the bully tried to threaten me. I stood my ground...

[dream skip] I am with Nick and Krista and this guy. There are these two men trying to take the kids. (there is a reason but I have no idea what it is, just that I am their only chance, but they don't understand the danger). We all end up running, I tell the guy to keep the kids with him and I'll run ahead to draw the men off because for some reason it's me they want even though they are out to kidnap the kids. (I know, I know, that doesn't make sense but in the dream it did) When I look over my shoulder I am far ahead but the guy is a few blocks back and the kids are way behind him. "You Idiot!!! You left the kids!" He stops and looks back. I run back and the kids are running to me. The two bad men got on this bus/train (one of those light rails or buses on tracks that runs on electricity) The bus/train stops and the men coax the kids who listen and get on. They smile and wave at me, thinking this is all a game. I cry out and yell at the guy "now they've got the kids." The guy didn't seem too broken up about it, but he got upset when I chased down the bus/train and leaped on. The two men laughed but I told the driver to radio for the police, as she picked up the radio one of the men pulled out a gun. "You put that radio down or I'll shoot." The driver slowly put down her radio. I stared at the men. Krista ran to me and hugged me. The kids still didn't understand the danger but I knew that I would protect them no matter what happened to me, and I knew that the bad men knew it too. ~wake up~